Shame thrives in silence, and FASD has been surrounded by silence for far too long. We pick up Part Two of my conversation with RJ Formanek, where we get honest about what living with fetal alcohol spectrum disorder actually feels like day to day: the hidden resilience, the crashes, the relationships that only go so far when “I love you” feels unsafe, and the long work of becoming okay with yourself.
We dig into practical, trauma-informed realities that families and adults search for but rarely hear spelled out. Why do mornings feel like a slow boot-up? How do routines and quiet time reduce meltdowns for kids who get “spent” fast in noisy, social spaces? What does dismaturity mean, and why can a person look their age while their emotional regulation, executive function, working memory, and processing speed tell a different story? RJ also shares how to talk about an FASD diagnosis with kids in small, age-appropriate pieces without dumping adult anger or blame onto them.
Then we zoom out to hope and advocacy. RJ explains why he created Red Shoes Rock, how he pushed back against terrifying stereotypes online, and why FASD support needs real stories, not doom predictions. We also talk neuroplasticity, possible “catch-up” timelines like myelination, and why many people with FASD find their stride later than the world expects. If you want clearer language, better support strategies, and a reminder that it’s not your fault, this conversation is for you. Subscribe, share this with someone who needs it, and leave a review with the one line you’re taking with you.
