Nov. 12, 2025

What Happens When We Finally Hear It’s Not Your Fault: Rj Formanek's story

Send us a text We share real, lived experiences from someone navigating life with FASD: the diagnosis, the data, and the dignity that often get lost in the conversation. Together, we unpack the daily struggles and the deep relief that comes from hearing the words, “It’s not your fault.” What follows is a powerful journey from shame to self-forgiveness, as we explore person-first support, resilience, and practical tools that empower families, educators, and communities to truly understan...

Send us a text

We share real, lived experiences from someone navigating life with FASD:  the diagnosis, the data, and the dignity that often get lost in the conversation. Together, we unpack the daily struggles and the deep relief that comes from hearing the words, “It’s not your fault.”

What follows is a powerful journey from shame to self-forgiveness, as we explore person-first support, resilience, and practical tools that empower families, educators, and communities to truly understand and uplift those living with FASD.

• global and national prevalence of FASD and underdiagnosis
• RJ’s childhood, system involvement, and late diagnosis
• shame, stigma, and the power of “it’s not your fault”
• behavior as symptom, not choice, in school settings
• person-first frameworks and lived-experience leadership
• memory, executive function, and “manual transmission” brains
• routines, morning ramp-up time, and no-homework advocacy
• how to explain FASD to children in age-appropriate steps
• dismaturity across brain domains and realistic expectations
• caregiver challenges, resilience, and community support

You won't want to miss it. Until then, remember understanding creates connection, and connection creates change.


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Chapters

00:08 - Opening And Why FASD Matters

00:26 - Prevalence, Myths, And Impact

01:17 - Introducing RJ And Early Advocacy

02:32 - Canada’s Numbers And Diagnostics

04:33 - RJ’s Childhood And System Involvement

09:04 - Finding Safety And Autonomy

13:18 - Emotion, Memory, And Living In The Moment

17:39 - Diagnosis, Shame, And Self‑Forgiveness

20:42 - School Struggles And Behavior As Symptom

24:07 - Person‑First Approach And Lived Expertise

27:10 - Grief, Birth Moms, And Blame

31:47 - Homelessness Risk And Neurodivergent Freedom

34:49 - Executive Function, Planning, And No Homework

38:07 - Caregiving, Community, And Safe Support

42:11 - Resilience, Fresh Starts, And Routines

46:00 - How To Tell Kids About FASD

50:14 - Dismaturity And Brain Domains

58:53 - Closing Reflections And Part Two Teaser

Transcript