How trauma shaped us, how truth freed us, and how we learned to love differently.
Send us a text What if the love you learned was never love at all—but performance, peacekeeping, and fear dressed up as care? Ann sits down with Denise Bard to tell the truth about growing up inside conditional love, the survival roles that helped them get through, and the slow, stubborn work of building a love that heals instead of hurts. This is a tender, unsparing, and ultimately hopeful conversation about worthiness, boundaries, and the courage to stop disappearing. We trace the childhoo...
What if the love you learned was never love at all—but performance, peacekeeping, and fear dressed up as care? Ann sits down with Denise Bard to tell the truth about growing up inside conditional love, the survival roles that helped them get through, and the slow, stubborn work of building a love that heals instead of hurts. This is a tender, unsparing, and ultimately hopeful conversation about worthiness, boundaries, and the courage to stop disappearing.
We trace the childhood blueprints that formed our early ideas of public perfection masking private harm, attention mistaken for affection, and approval fused to identity. Denise shares how a shelter caseworker embodied unconditional love and rewired what was possible. Ann reflects on seeking safety in performance, hiding family trauma from partners, and the moment parenting shifted everything: presence over fear, repair over reactivity, and an actual “no matter what” for her kids. Together we explore how to break generational cycles, end contact with unsafe relatives, and create a home where truth doesn’t cost you belonging.
You’ll hear practical ways to rebuild self-worth affirmations that actually land, journaling that tracks progress, and boundaries that protect love rather than punish it. We talk about putting down burdens that were never ours, refusing to apologize for someone else’s harm, and letting “wanted” become part of your identity. If you’ve ever confused peace with people-pleasing or chemistry with chaos, this conversation offers language, tools, and a pledge to love differently: to be seen, to stay whole, and to choose connection without conditions.
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@Real Talk with Tina and Ann
00:00 - Framing “Loving Differently”
01:24 - Childhood Blueprints of Love
06:20 - TV Families and Modeling Care
11:10 - Conditional Love and Pleasing to Survive
17:15 - Public Perfection, Private Harm
22:40 - Approval, Performance, and Identity
27:45 - Silence, Fear, and Survival Roles
34:05 - Seeking Love in Attention and Escape
41:05 - Hiding Histories in Adult Relationships
48:00 - Parenting as a New Definition of Love
55:30 - Worthiness, Affirmations, and Self-Talk