Victoria Ellen's birthday story with her abusive ex. I couldn’t believe the things he did. It was my birthday—I had just had a C-section after 18 hours of labor—and he still made it about him. He planned a ‘birthday trip’ (air quotes, because let’s be real) to a ski lodge, away from my newborn. Who does that?! The level of selfishness was unreal. If you’ve ever ignored the red flags, you’re not alone. Let’s talk about the signs of toxic relationships.